a good cleaning

It had been wayyyy too long since we’d seen the dentist, so finally the day arrived to get those pearly whites a good cleaning. I packed the kids into the minivan, dropped Olivia off with my sister Erika, and hit the freeway. Hannah thought it would be a good idea to read in the car, and I should have know better than to let her.
She was in the front seat next to me and within minutes she muttered, “Mom, I’m carsick.” I turned on the cold air, full blast.
“Does that help? Just look straight ahead.” She looked super pale.
We were zipping along in the far left lane when she announced in a panic, “I’m gonna throw up!”
“Aaah! Open your window! I can’t pull over!”
Cars were everywhere to the right of me, and I was smack up against a cement barricade on the left. Hannah stuck her head out her window and let loose. The car behind us switched on their windshield wipers…I’m so sorry! The wind violently whipped a fine mist of vomit back into the car, and all of us were enveloped in it.
“Mom! Pull over! Make her stop! I’M SERIOUS!!” Ben was FREAKING out, so angry in the back seat. Nina plugged her nose and looked like she was going to cry. Will slept. I laughed so hard I was afraid I might crash, my eyes were blurred with tears. I had to call someone, this was just too funny not to share. So I called Erika and I could barely talk because I was laughing so hard…I managed to squeak out what happened. I literally cried off all my mascara.
Hannah finally sat down, defeated, with a grumpy frown and a pale complexion. There was puke all over her sweatshirt, all over her hair, and I don’t even want to think about what her breath smelled like. AAAAH! We are going to the dentist! Right up close and personal. She was so mad at me for laughing.
When we got there she took off her sweatshirt and left it in the stinky van. I did my best to rinse her hair out in the bathroom sink and twist it into a bun. I gave her some gum, and cleaned all the mascara from my face. I felt like telling everyone in the dentist office, “We don’t normally look or smell this bad.”
Not only did the kids’ teeth get a good cleaning, but so did the minivan. We hit the carwash immediately after leaving the dentist and took care of lots of interior cleaning at home.
P.S. My little sweet-toothed Nina had 3 cavaties.
:(
My wallet feels pretty empty. Where’s the tooth fairy when you need her? I wish she’d leave some money under MY pillow.

One thought on “a good cleaning

  1. Carrie

    oh.my.goodness. How awful, but I have to admit that I laughed pretty hard reading this. Especially that the car behind you turned their wipers on. I wonder if they knew what was going on.

    Reply

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